Lou and I did make the trip to Hawaii - but, it was not a great decision! Unfortunately, Lou had already started declining rapidly before we left and that decline continued during the trip. After being there for a couple of days, Lou became so weak that he couldn't walk or do anything for himself! I had rented an electric scooter and he was able to run it after I got him on it - but.....there was not really any independence for him during the trip at all! And, he slept much of the time - just total exhaustion for him. I tried to persuade him to cut the trip short - but...he wanted to stay - so....we did! The trip home was precarious at best - but.....wound up being relatively okay and without incident. That was Tuesday morning - April 27 - arriving in Dallas at 5 a.m. Gabrielle picked us up at the airport and we came home and went to bed for a few hours. Wednesday morning - April 28, we went to the hospital for a CT scan, blood work, and Dr. visit. Even though the scan showed that the tumors in his liver hadn't really progressed - in fact, the CEA # was improved! - his liver is losing the battle / liver failure. His skin is yellow, his eyes are turning yellow and the Dr. told us that there's nothing more to do or try - it's time. Lou asked how long - Dr. told him 1 - 2 months - but...based on how quickly things have gone in the last couple of weeks - I don't see him lasting more than another 2 or 3 weeks maximum. (Lou has mentioned several times in the last couple of weeks that he won't be here long - so, I really think he understands and "feels" the truth - but....he also still speaks at times about the future!)
The hospice group came today to begin their care for him. It's the same hospice group caring for my father. After the nurse did a few tests, etc. and reviewed the blood report from Wednesday - she motioned for me to follow her outside. She told me to try to prepare myself for the daily decline that's going to take place over the next week or so. In her experience, Lou will become unconscious within about a week, so, she said that anyone that would want to see him or speak with him or any resolutions that need to be made need to be done VERY soon! She thinks once he becomes unconscious, he will remain that way until he passes.
We're both scared and sad about the whole thing - it's really difficult to accept - was very hard to hear the Dr. say "it's over"! Our pastor came to visit yesterday and Lou we all discussed funeral preparations, etc. I'm glad at least to know his wishes - we had discussed some points, but....discussed even more yesterday. There is definitely some "peace" in knowing what he wants and what he prefers! But....it's also surreal to know that it's all probably going to take place within the next couple of weeks! I can never be ready for him to be gone - but, I do NOT want him to suffer! And, I am so very, very thankful that up to now, he really hasn't had pain! He has had plenty of days of not feeling well - but....having actual pain - only a few times and not even enough for him to even take Advil - much less a real pain reliever! I pray for that part to continue and/or that the Lord will take him before he would suffer in that way!
If any of you want to speak with Lou , please call him or come by soon! If you want to write him a note - I'm printing all notes and putting them in a binder for him to read. It means so very much to him! (me too!) Lou's number is 972/839-8271 - mine is 214/725-7171 - house is 972/732-0688.
Both of us thank you again from the bottom of our hearts for all of the prayers and support for the last 18 months or so! WHAT a journey - not one I recommend - but...one that really is life changing and a real test of discovering more about what's truly meaningful in this worldly life we've had on earth! Definitely gets your attention and clarifies what's important and what's just "noise"! Lots of noise!!! We're very thankful that the Lord gave us this time together - surely helped us refocus and get our priorities reordered - just sorry it took something quite this drastic to get us to learn this lesson! Life is short!
Thank you for all the prayers, love, and support!
Blessings to all of you and your families!
Deb
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment