Sunday, May 9, 2010

Obituary











As a last planned entry for Lou - I want to share the obituary site where you can read Lou's Obit.
















He fought a great batlle and gave it all he had! From initial estimates that he had about 3 - 4 months to live after the diagnosis - the rally and 18 months he was given was truly a gift from God. I loved him dearly and will miss him immensely! The funeral yesterday was very moving and a great tribute to him and his life.
I will post some additional pictures later - but....the pics above are of Lou when we were in Hawaii last week - about April 24 or 25 and the pictures at the church and cemetery were from 5/8/10.
Thanks again to everyone for all of the love, support, and prayers. It's been an incredible journey!
Blessings!
Deb

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Funeral Plans

Finally have the plans all set! The official obituary will be in the Dallas Morning News tomorrow - Friday 5/7 - morning. We are having a visitation at the Sparkman Funeral Home from 6 - 8 on Friday 5/7 evening. Information for the funeral home: (972) 238-7855
1029 South Greenville Avenue Richardson, TX 75081

The Funeral will be on Saturday morning at Canyon Creek Presbyterian Church at 10:00 a.m. Information for the Church: 3901 North Star Richardson, TX 75082 972-238-8103

Cemetery at about 11:30 a.m. following the church service - Sparkman Hillcrest Memorial Park: 7405 W Nw Highway University Park, TX 75225 Phone Number: (214) 363-5401

Lunch to follow at Maggiano's at NorthPark.

Hope to see many of you!

Love,
Deb

The Struggle has Ended

Finally, the end has come! Lou passed away quietly this evening about 9:15 p.m. after his 18 month struggle with cancer! His family had been in and out with him these past 4 days and many friends had been able to visit with him too during this time. I read all e-mails and reported all calls to him and each time he greeted the notes / messages with smiles and tears. You touched our hearts in ways we never thought possible! Thank everyone for all of the prayers and support during this 18 month struggle! But...tonight, Lou moved onto bigger and better things and is now resting in the arms of our Lord and Savior - Jesus Christ. Praise be to God! I miss him already - but know that we'll be together again someday in heaven! He fought the good fight, grew, and became a new person in the last 18 months - all in good ways!

Tentative schedule of events for the funeral - visitation / wake will be at Sparkman Funeral home in Richardson TX probably on Friday evening with the church service to be held on Saturday morning - church announcement tomorrow! The funeral at the church will be followed by interment at Hillcrest Memorial Cemetery at Boedeker and Northwest Highway (by NorthPark mall) and the burial will be followed by a luncheon. If you're in the Dallas area, we hope you'll be able to join us in the celebration of Lou's life! If you're not in the area - many thanks again for all of the prayers and support - we wouldn't have made it the 18 months without you!!!

More info on the funeral and events tomorrow after everything is finalized!

Love,
Deb

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Afternoon - May 5, 2010

Lou's struggle is about to end. His body continues to decline and shut down - he's on oxygen, pupils are fixed and dilated, his breathing is labored, he's no longer responsive, and basically in a coma type state. We continue to talk to him and tell him how much we love him while encouraging him to move on to his new home in heaven. We don't want him to suffer or have any more pain. We have had beautiful prayers throughout the day and had a particularly poignant laying on of hands with him today with his brother Ron, wife Jane, nephew Ron, the prayer leader Brenda, Gabrielle, Christopher, and me. Lou has so enjoyed and been appreciative of the prayer meetings we've had every Saturday with the Healing Hands group from our church for the last 16 months and he also has really enjoyed the Christian Reiki and Reflexology times with Brenda. Both have brought him so much peace and today's session also brought him peace!

The outpouring of notes, phone calls, and prayers is humbling! Thank all of you for caring and for the thousands of prayers sent out to Lou and to me! The Lord is good and faithful and He will be calling Lou home very soon!

Love,
Deb

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Update 5/4/10

Well....if Lou were older and if he weren't "healthy except for the cancer" (what a line!) - he would probably already be gone. However, because his heart and lungs were so strong and he was a strong guy - he's still hanging for now. But, he has less conscious or even waking moments with each passing hour, his bowels have shut down, his kidneys are failing, his liver is so swollen, and his abdomen is distended and so swollen with fluids - everything is failing. Most of his communication now is pretty out of his head stuff as the poisons build in his body. He is now receiving morphine and pain meds regularly to try to keep him comfortable and the latest "prediction" is that he will not make it past Thursday or Friday. With the shallow breathing and the way he looks and the way I know he would feel - I pray that the end will come VERY VERY soon for him! He said so many times that he wanted to go quickly and it has always been my prayer for him not to suffer any longer than possible! He / we have been so blessed that as this all started happening within the last couple of weeks - even though he wasn't feeling particularly well - he wasn't in pain! I know this is answer to prayer! Now, he's ready and I hope the Lord is ready to take him - would truly be a blessing for Lou! Me - I'd of course love to be able to keep him around - but.....that's not fair to Lou and somehow, the Lord will see me through this valley!

For all of you have sent literally hundreds of e-mails to us in the last couple of days - THANK YOU, thank you, thank you! How blessed I / we have felt to have such good and faithful friends lifting us up in prayer and support us throughout this ordeal. All of the e-mails / names of people have been given to Lou - he smiled and cried as they were read to him!

Will update as things change!

Blessings and Love,
Deb

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Almost Over

Well....the news only continued to get more bleak after the last posting. Lou has declined even more quickly than anyone thought and he's now mostly sleeping and not responding much. The hospice nurse told us this afternoon based on her experience, she thinks he could survive 24 - 48 hours but not much longer than that. He's so very weak! They have provided 24 hour nursing services for us so that I won't be here alone with Lou during the nights in particular and so that they can help with medicine dosing, etc. Of course, I'm heartbroken to be losing him - but, I do NOT want him to suffer and had told him all along that I would not do anything to try to prolong his life with the circumstances he's facing. The notes, calls, and outpouring of love has been so very appreciated. I have read notes and passed info on to Lou all along and continue to do so even now! It has all meant so much to him!

Will update again soon!
Love,
Deb

Friday, April 30, 2010

The End is Near - The Glory is the Lord's

Lou and I did make the trip to Hawaii - but, it was not a great decision! Unfortunately, Lou had already started declining rapidly before we left and that decline continued during the trip. After being there for a couple of days, Lou became so weak that he couldn't walk or do anything for himself! I had rented an electric scooter and he was able to run it after I got him on it - but.....there was not really any independence for him during the trip at all! And, he slept much of the time - just total exhaustion for him. I tried to persuade him to cut the trip short - but...he wanted to stay - so....we did! The trip home was precarious at best - but.....wound up being relatively okay and without incident. That was Tuesday morning - April 27 - arriving in Dallas at 5 a.m. Gabrielle picked us up at the airport and we came home and went to bed for a few hours. Wednesday morning - April 28, we went to the hospital for a CT scan, blood work, and Dr. visit. Even though the scan showed that the tumors in his liver hadn't really progressed - in fact, the CEA # was improved! - his liver is losing the battle / liver failure. His skin is yellow, his eyes are turning yellow and the Dr. told us that there's nothing more to do or try - it's time. Lou asked how long - Dr. told him 1 - 2 months - but...based on how quickly things have gone in the last couple of weeks - I don't see him lasting more than another 2 or 3 weeks maximum. (Lou has mentioned several times in the last couple of weeks that he won't be here long - so, I really think he understands and "feels" the truth - but....he also still speaks at times about the future!)

The hospice group came today to begin their care for him. It's the same hospice group caring for my father. After the nurse did a few tests, etc. and reviewed the blood report from Wednesday - she motioned for me to follow her outside. She told me to try to prepare myself for the daily decline that's going to take place over the next week or so. In her experience, Lou will become unconscious within about a week, so, she said that anyone that would want to see him or speak with him or any resolutions that need to be made need to be done VERY soon! She thinks once he becomes unconscious, he will remain that way until he passes.

We're both scared and sad about the whole thing - it's really difficult to accept - was very hard to hear the Dr. say "it's over"! Our pastor came to visit yesterday and Lou we all discussed funeral preparations, etc. I'm glad at least to know his wishes - we had discussed some points, but....discussed even more yesterday. There is definitely some "peace" in knowing what he wants and what he prefers! But....it's also surreal to know that it's all probably going to take place within the next couple of weeks! I can never be ready for him to be gone - but, I do NOT want him to suffer! And, I am so very, very thankful that up to now, he really hasn't had pain! He has had plenty of days of not feeling well - but....having actual pain - only a few times and not even enough for him to even take Advil - much less a real pain reliever! I pray for that part to continue and/or that the Lord will take him before he would suffer in that way!

If any of you want to speak with Lou , please call him or come by soon! If you want to write him a note - I'm printing all notes and putting them in a binder for him to read. It means so very much to him! (me too!) Lou's number is 972/839-8271 - mine is 214/725-7171 - house is 972/732-0688.

Both of us thank you again from the bottom of our hearts for all of the prayers and support for the last 18 months or so! WHAT a journey - not one I recommend - but...one that really is life changing and a real test of discovering more about what's truly meaningful in this worldly life we've had on earth! Definitely gets your attention and clarifies what's important and what's just "noise"! Lots of noise!!! We're very thankful that the Lord gave us this time together - surely helped us refocus and get our priorities reordered - just sorry it took something quite this drastic to get us to learn this lesson! Life is short!

Thank you for all the prayers, love, and support!

Blessings to all of you and your families!

Deb

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Sorry for LONG Delay of Update!!

Very sorry for the long time since the blog was last updated! The last few weeks have been long, mostly sad / difficult and have required me to be focused on Lou and his needs. At the end of the day - taking care of Lou and keeping up with my work - there's just not much left - especially since things overall, have not been going well! Writing about everything is good for my soul - but....at times like these, also depressing to me because putting it in black and white seems so "final"! But....do want to get everyone updated - so...here goes!

After the last chemo in the last blog - the Dr. did change Lou from the Oxaliplatin to a different chemo drug called Irinotecan. This drug hopefully is slowing down the fast progression of the liver tumors, but....I don't have the latest CEA number yet! Should have them tomorrow. Unfortunately, the CEA number since February, continued to go up and up! But....2 weeks ago - while it hadn't gone down any - it had slowed significantly! It had been going up 500 ng/mL every two weeks - but....in the next 4 weeks after that, it only went up 150 ng/mL. We're hoping the number tomorrow will show that it's either stopped going up and/or that it's gone down some! The good news is that finally 2 weeks ago - the liver function numbers had started showing signs of improvement - first time for improved numbers here since everything started going up last fall! And....those numbers continued to go down again slightly when we got some of the numbers today. So, for that, we are quite thankful! However, the Irinotecan - which seemed to not cause too much of a problem for Lou in the first and second sessions as far as side effects - has now caused him to be quite ill feeling for the last 2 sessions and it has also caused him to have fairly significant diarrhea. He becomes so tired and lethargic that all he can do is stay in bed. Unfortunately, that has resulted in him not eating - and the combination of the diarrhea and not eating = additional weight loss and dehydration! To say that Lou is thin is an understatement - unfortunately, frail and skeletal are more appropriate terms. He's finally rallying slightly in the last 2 days after strong regiments of diarrhea medicines, pedialyte, probiotics, and eating more! Since the last chemo almost 2 weeks ago - he's been in bed or in his chair all but 3 days! When we went for the Dr.'s appointment today - it was decided to NOT have the chemo treatment scheduled for tomorrow. Twofold reason - we are supposed to go to Maui again next Monday. Since Lou has been so weak and unable to even walk much of the time in the last two weeks - the Dr. thought that having another chemo tomorrow with him in such a weakened state would probably only exacerbate the problem - and Lou had already said that he'd made an "executive" decision to NOT have chemo tomorrow because he is DETERMINED to get to Hawaii on Monday! (At one point, as only Lou could say - he told me that he was going to Hawaii even if "he had to crawl there"!! So...we're going to need prayers for him to continue getting stronger before Monday! Otherwise, not sure how we're going to make it through the flight, etc. and get to Hawaii!! We'll take the transport chair with us - had to take it with us today just to get him to the Dr.'s office because he's so very weak! But....hopefully, he'll make some good progress on gaining some strength back in the next 4 days since there will be no chemo tomorrow!

Of course, I'm concerned about what it will mean for this very ugly and aggressive cancer to NOT have the chemo treatment - but....truthfully - with Lou's fragile weight at the moment and how sick he's been - if he can actually gain some strength and weight over the next two weeks before the next chemo - it may be the better thing to happen! And....with his utter determination to make this trip - I know he's going to be fighting to be better / stronger! As with everything else with this insidious disease - no way to know what's best or right or wrong! Just have to pray the right decisions are being made! Of course, I want more time - but.....obviously, that's NOT a decision I get to make! So.....prayer is everything!

I really appreciate (and Lou does too!) - the continued prayers and support! The notes, e-mails, calls, visits - help both of us and we cannot thank you enough! The whole thing feels so lonely and yet, there have been so many blessings along the way too - such a mixed bag of emotions! Hope I'll have "Aloha" news in the next blog! That will mean things have improved at least for a while! The last few weeks have been overwhelmingly depressing / difficult for both of us - although - I try to have my moments in private - definitely serves no good purpose if I can't keep a more positive attitude for Lou when he's feeling so sick! Requires a lot of patience and prayer (and prayer for patience!!)!! The Lord has been so good to us / me in these quite difficult and extraordinary times!

Thanks again for your continued prayers, love, and support!
Blessings to all!
Love,
Deb

Monday, February 22, 2010

Struggles

After Lou's last chemo we were trying to remain optimistic about things turning around! But....the following week, we had record snowfall in Dallas - 12 inches! - and lost our electricity for almost 13 hours - from midnight Thursday night until almost 1p.m. on Friday! I kept the fireplace burning brightly all night long - but....it was fairly cold in the house and was starting to look pretty bleak when the lights and HEAT finally came back on! We were so very thankful! Lost most everything in the fridge and freezers - but......at least we got through! However, Lou hadn't told me that he was starting to feel sick! By Saturday evening - he had a full blown sore throat and 102.6 temp!!!! I called the Dr. and got a prescription of antibiotics for him - but..he was a VERY sick boy for several days! We did go to the Dr. on Monday the 15th - Lou's b-day! - for his bloodwork and Dr. visit for the Thursday chemo. News wasn't good! All of the liver function numbers and the CEA count were all high and troublesome! While we thought maybe the Oxaliplatin was holding the tumors back - the blood numbers are saying something else is going on! Then, last Thursday - the 18th - we went for chemo. Within 10 minutes of starting the Oxaliplatin - Lou had a huge reaction - numbness in his lips / face - trouble breathing - and full out flush to his face and neck. Teddie stopped the drugs immediately - started Lou on oxygen - and called the Dr. Needless to say - that's the last time he'll have Oxaliplatin! We waited about and hour and then Lou finished the other chemo drugs and we came home - exhausted and bewildered! Between Lou having been sick and still coping with the leftover congestion - he's been exhausted and in bed most of the last 3 days. His weight had plummeted another 6 lbs in the 10 days since he was last weighed - so...in 5 weeks - he's down 16 lbs! Between being sick and having no appetite - it's really taking a toll on him!

So....the new plan is that they'll try the one remaining drug at the next chemo on March 4 to see if it will help the out of control tumors in his liver! We're hoping and praying for the best - but...do have to say that Lou's attitude is waning and depression is beginning to get the better of him many days! We're doing everything possible to get him to eat - I really think it's like a vicious circle! The weight loss is definitely taking a toll on the way he feels - he feels bad much of the time - so, he doesn't eat - and it makes him weaker and feel worse!!! I try to work in as many calories as possible into anything that he'll eat - but....he eats so little of anything that it's really a challenge!

Please continue to pray for Lou, for his appetite, his attitude, and for this new chemo drug that we'll start on the 4th of March! Pray the new drug will work against the tumors and that the side effects will be nominal! Reading about this drug - he'll lose his hair almost guaranteed - which is something he's not happy about - but....it also has bigger side effects of nausea and diarrhea! First of all - as just discussed, he cannot afford to lose much more weight - he's down 55 lbs from his all time high - shortly before he got sick! - and if the nausea and diarrhea isn't controlled somewhat - I really think he'll opt to NOT take the drug.

Thank you for your continued prayer, support, and love! If you have time - please call Lou on his cell phone (not before noon Dallas time - please!) and chat with him! He so enjoys visiting in person or on the phone! He needs encouragement and at the same time he LOVES to reminisce about the past - all the "good old" days!!! It's a great diversion for him!!! His cell # is 972/839-8271. If he doesn't answer, please leave a message and number and he'll call you back! Sometimes he forgets to put his phone by him and/or he doesn't hear it sometimes! But...he'll LOVE to hear from you!

Appreciate all of you!
Love,
Deb

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Better / Mixed News

So....went Thursday morning - 2/4 for lab / Dr. / Chemo with apprehension - waiting to hear the news of the CT scan last Monday. Fortunately, the CT scan showed that the tumors have only grown about 5% since the last scan in December - about 2 months since that scan. 5% growth equals "stable" in the world of cancer / tumors! Meaning - it does appear the tumors are responding by not growing and they actually are slowing down growth since going back on the Oxaliplatin. So, for that, we are EXTREMELY thankful - PTL!

However, as I mentioned in the previous post - Lou has become allergic to the Oxaliplatin - or something! Will explain the "or something" in a minute! The Dr. was considering changing Lou from this drug - but...it really is the best drug regiment for this cancer - so, Lou and I were both reluctant to quit the drug as long as the Dr. agreed and if the Dr. thought that the allergy could be "controlled" with other drugs. When we told the Dr. our thoughts - he was in agreement that this is the best drug for Lou right now. He explained normally, there are 3 different regiments that are available for Lou's type of cancer, BUT...one of those regiments is ineffective if the tumors have mutations in them. Unfortunately, Lou's tumors DO have mutations - so.....Oxaliplatin and one other are the ONLY choices left for Lou in this battle. Meaning, if he cannot remain on the Oxaliplatin - we only have one other option and it may or may not contain / slow down the tumors in his liver! With all things considered and our willingness to try to stay on the Oxaliplatin and just fight the allergy with Benadryl and steroids - the Dr. thought this was the best option too.

Got to chemo lab and fortunately had our regular nurse Teddie! The Dr. prescribed a double dose of the Benadryl / steroid infusion to try to counteract the reaction to the Oxaliplatin infusion. Needless to say - Lou was quite sleepy / groggy after that infusion! The regiment is now a 5 minute infusion of antinausea medication, a 10 minute infusion of the Benadryl / steroid mixture, 30 minutes for the chemo drug Avastin, another 30 minute infusion of calcium / magnesium mixture to try to counteract the neuropathy in Lou's hands and feet caused by the Oxaliplatin, then the Dr. extended the next infusion from 2 hours to 4 hours - meaning the Leucavorin (another chemo drug) and Oxaliplatin that normally infuse together over 2 hours in the regiment - now had the Leucavorin going in over 2 hours with the Oxaliplatin infusing the same 2 hours - but...an additional 2 hours - making it infuse slower and longer to try to abate the allergic reaction. Then, after that infusion - there's another 30 minute infusion of calcium / magnesium before they disconnect all of that - give him a 5 minute "push" of Five FU - then attach the take home bag of Five FU that Lou wears for the next 48 hours. Sorry - but....thought it might be helpful to understand the time required for the chemo and wanted to also give a timeline to explain what happened this Thursday that I think is answered prayer!

Like clockwork based on the last few infusions - about 45 minutes into the Oxaliplatin infusion - Lou began to flush / get a very red rash on his face that progressed down to his neck. Over the next 45 minutes - with Teddie and I both checking him every few minutes - the rash began to be on his torso and down to about his waist. Per conversation between Teddie and the Dr. - she did call to give him updates about the progression of the rash. I prayed sitting in the darkened room - praying that the Lord would please help Lou's body tolerate the Oxaliplatin - that somehow, he wouldn't continue to have such a big reaction to the drug. And....about 2 hours into the infusion - amazingly - the rash cleared from his face - and over the next two hours cleared from his body! Teddie was amazed - saying she hadn't seen anything like this previously - that the rash without giving more Bendadryl / steroids or doing anything - had cleared! We were all so very happy and I told her and told Lou I had been praying for the rash /Lou's tolerance / reaction to get better so he could stay on this drug. Teddie was supposed to leave at 4:00 - but...she stayed until 5:00 when she was able to switch Lou's infusion from the last of the Oxaliplatin to the 30 minute calcium / magnesium infusion. Then she left and we waited for the last 30 minutes. When the nurse now in our charge came in - Lou's face had become "blood" red again! We were telling her about the way the rash had basically disappeared in the middle of the infusion of the Oxaliplatin - without any additional drugs or anything. This is the point where she began to tell us of a patient she had been taking care of previously who wasn't allergic to the Oxaliplatin - but....turned out she was actually allergic to the calcium / magnesium infusion! She told us about discussing the case with the woman's Dr. (different one than our Dr.!) - and by process of elimination - they were able to determine that yes, the allergic reaction - at least for this woman, was because of the calcium / magnesium infusions! In thinking through the timeline of the drugs and the reactions Lou had - it seems maybe there's a real possibility he's also having a reaction to the calcium/ magnesium and maybe NOT to the Oxaliplatin. If Teddie hadn't left early and we hadn't had this nurse - we wouldn't even know to look at this as a possibility! THIS WAS ANSWERED PRAYER and gives us hope that by being able to stay on this drug for at least a couple of more months - maybe there will be positive news on the liver tumors!

The other HUGE answer to prayer this week came because Lou had to go see a new neurologist to get his anti-seizure medication renewed this week. We LOVED our previous neurologist - she had taken care of both of my parents for many years! However, she left in November to go into research studies dealing in Parkinson's disease. The Dr. that replaced her at the practice is the new neurologist Lou went to see. When he reviewed Lou's medical history and saw the latest blood tests, etc. - he immediately said Lou shouldn't be on the medication he's on since it's the only anti-seizure med that metabolizes through the liver. He believes this is putting stress on Lou's liver and potentially some of the liver function numbers will improve if he switches to a different anti-seizure medication! So....Lou is weaning off of the old drug over the next 4 weeks and weaning on to the new one.

And, unfortunately, this week liver function numbers were worse again! So....am hoping / praying maybe some of the things will start turning around - big prayers!!! However, news overall was better than we had been anticipating AND how blessed we feel that the Lord provided two new sources this week with additional news that might help Lou's situation. We are so very thankful!

Lou spent almost all day Friday and Saturday in bed - this was a very difficult chemo! And, the neuropathy is very bad in his hands and feet since this infusion! I'm trying to rub and massage as much as possible - but....it's been a tough 3 days! He also had lost 6 pounds in the last 2 weeks - NOT GOOD! Nearing his all time low again! The nutritionist / dietician visited with us on Thursday and made him a protein shake, gave us recipes, and gave us some samples and the information on a new medical grade protein powder which I have now ordered to add to Lou's food. The Fellow Dr. working with our regular chemo Dr. also visited with us on Thursday and told Lou even if he doesn't feel like eating - he has to do the shakes or something with mega calories - doing it as a "medicine" regiment rather than trying to think of it as a meal since next to nothing appeals to him at this point! Lou agreed on Thursday, but....Friday he ate almost nothing - ditto Saturday! Finally today he ate some - not much - but some! I'm trying to "sneak" the protein powder and extra "calories" into everything - but...he only eats a few bites of anything / everything - so.....it's difficult! Need him to regain some appetite! Have him watching the cooking shows and have all kinds of things in the house to tempt him!

Lou's birthday is next Monday - Feb 15. He'll be 66! Last year, he was still so very sick, - we really didn't get to celebrate much for the 65th! However, this year - even though it's Valentine's day on Sunday, 14th - hope any of you living nearby might drop by for some cake / coffee / snacks on Sunday afternoon! I know Lou would be thrilled - he really loves to visit and see people! So...please drop by if you're available!

In the meantime, we so appreciate all of the love, prayers, notes, cards from you! Lou and I have the discussion often about how unfortunate it is that it takes getting a "death" sentence for most of us (or at least us!) to realize what's important in life and to appreciate the people (and each other) that have helped get us to this point in life! Remembering what brought us together and realizing the "noise" in every day life that is truly meaningless - well......better late than never - but...so much wasted time! Enjoy each day and be thankful for the people who bless you in your life!

Love to all!
Deb

Monday, February 1, 2010

Praying for God's Healing Power


This morning Lou and I were at Baylor a few minutes before 8 for the latest CT scan. Unfortunately, the CEA # and also the liver function numbers in Lou's blood indicate that things are not going well. So, the Dr. wanted to see what's going on to try to figure out what we need to do to try to get things under control again. In the last chemo on January 21, even with the Benadryl and steroid infusions and a slower infusion time for the Oxaliplatin - he still had hives from the Oxaliplatin. He has become quite allergic to this drug. So, they didn't complete the bag of Oxaliplatin - but, he did get all of the others. And, since he's now allergic to the Oxaliplatin and it appears that it's not able to control the tumors as it did last spring - maybe it's meant to be for him to be on a different chemo drug. However, I'm nervous about the other drug that had been mentioned because there are some fairly severe side effects. Lou is very unhappy because it will make him lose his hair - I'm unhappy because most people who are on this drug have severe nausea and diarrhea! He had gained a little weight when we were at the Dr.'s office on 1/21 - but....since he's down almost 20 lbs and I'm having a difficult time finding enough things to get him to eat - being sick from the chemo drugs makes me very nervous! He really cannot afford to lose much more! We need prayers for his appetite to be better and prayers to protect him from some of the nausea / stomach side effects of the drugs! AND, biggest prayer of course, is to find something that will slow the tumors down! What a blessing if his own immune system could kick in and help fight off some of the bad! I've got him on several supplements and vitamin replacements to try to help his body keep some of the immunity! But...the chemo kills off his own immunity fighting abilities and it's hard to replenish enough for his body to REALLY fight! This is just all so very frustrating - we're still fighting and trying - just need extra prayers for extra strength this week! We'll get information from the CT scans that were done today on Thursday when we see the Dr. right before chemo. I feel sure the cocktail mix of chemo drugs will be different this week - so, don't know exactly what to expect - other than really hoping and praying the side effects won't be as bad as I've been told and what I've read AND praying whatever it is that it will KILL / SHRINK the tumors!! Will update further after chemo on Thursday! Thank you for so much for the notes, calls, thoughts, and prayers! WE appreciate everything so very much!

Love,
Deb


Thursday, January 7, 2010

Another Roller Coaster of Emotions

Just returned home from Lou's latest chemo today. Another very long day - left at 9:30 and got home at 7:30 - exhausted as usual! New events today that were rather discouraging! The CEA number - the cancer marker in the blood - instead of going down again went up OVER 200 points - going higher than it was previously! The chemo Dr. was a little perplexed by the numbers because the liver function markers were all better - however, this very important cancer marker went up!!! He said this was a little unusual and something that he really couldn't explain. Plan of action will be to see what the number is in two weeks for the next chemo - if it's down - GREAT - if it's up further - he'll do new scans right away to try to figure out what's going on and try to determine if there's another chemo alternative to try to help. Of course, we're hoping and praying that this was a kind of fluke and that the number will be better in two weeks! But, mentally - the roller coaster is NOT good and Lou in particular is thinking the worst!

As we were winding down on the last bag of chemo and just as the nurse was getting ready to change the chemo port line over to the take home chemo bag - she noticed that Lou had a massive rash all over his chest and abdominal area. The Dr. had mentioned today that sometimes when Oxaliplatin is used, then stopped, then started again - the patient can exhibit an allergic reaction. Well....Lou had a BIG allergic reaction - so, they pumped him full of Benadryl and steroids to get the whelps down and stop the allergy reaction. Fortunately, he did not experience any respiratory distress but, his blood pressure elevated quite a bit and of course, the whole thing was a little nerve wrecking - especially after also knowing about the new blood numbers!

Please continue to pray! We really appreciate all of the prayers and support - emotionally right now, we're both pretty fragile! BUT.....we'll keep the faith and pray for the best too!

Blessings to all!
Deb