Finally have the plans all set! The official obituary will be in the Dallas Morning News tomorrow - Friday 5/7 - morning. We are having a visitation at the Sparkman Funeral Home from 6 - 8 on Friday 5/7 evening. Information for the funeral home: (972) 238-7855
1029 South Greenville Avenue Richardson, TX 75081
The Funeral will be on Saturday morning at Canyon Creek Presbyterian Church at 10:00 a.m. Information for the Church: 3901 North Star Richardson, TX 75082 972-238-8103
Cemetery at about 11:30 a.m. following the church service - Sparkman Hillcrest Memorial Park: 7405 W Nw Highway University Park, TX 75225 Phone Number: (214) 363-5401
Lunch to follow at Maggiano's at NorthPark.
Hope to see many of you!
Love,
Deb
Thursday, May 6, 2010
The Struggle has Ended
Finally, the end has come! Lou passed away quietly this evening about 9:15 p.m. after his 18 month struggle with cancer! His family had been in and out with him these past 4 days and many friends had been able to visit with him too during this time. I read all e-mails and reported all calls to him and each time he greeted the notes / messages with smiles and tears. You touched our hearts in ways we never thought possible! Thank everyone for all of the prayers and support during this 18 month struggle! But...tonight, Lou moved onto bigger and better things and is now resting in the arms of our Lord and Savior - Jesus Christ. Praise be to God! I miss him already - but know that we'll be together again someday in heaven! He fought the good fight, grew, and became a new person in the last 18 months - all in good ways!
Tentative schedule of events for the funeral - visitation / wake will be at Sparkman Funeral home in Richardson TX probably on Friday evening with the church service to be held on Saturday morning - church announcement tomorrow! The funeral at the church will be followed by interment at Hillcrest Memorial Cemetery at Boedeker and Northwest Highway (by NorthPark mall) and the burial will be followed by a luncheon. If you're in the Dallas area, we hope you'll be able to join us in the celebration of Lou's life! If you're not in the area - many thanks again for all of the prayers and support - we wouldn't have made it the 18 months without you!!!
More info on the funeral and events tomorrow after everything is finalized!
Love,
Deb
Tentative schedule of events for the funeral - visitation / wake will be at Sparkman Funeral home in Richardson TX probably on Friday evening with the church service to be held on Saturday morning - church announcement tomorrow! The funeral at the church will be followed by interment at Hillcrest Memorial Cemetery at Boedeker and Northwest Highway (by NorthPark mall) and the burial will be followed by a luncheon. If you're in the Dallas area, we hope you'll be able to join us in the celebration of Lou's life! If you're not in the area - many thanks again for all of the prayers and support - we wouldn't have made it the 18 months without you!!!
More info on the funeral and events tomorrow after everything is finalized!
Love,
Deb
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Afternoon - May 5, 2010
Lou's struggle is about to end. His body continues to decline and shut down - he's on oxygen, pupils are fixed and dilated, his breathing is labored, he's no longer responsive, and basically in a coma type state. We continue to talk to him and tell him how much we love him while encouraging him to move on to his new home in heaven. We don't want him to suffer or have any more pain. We have had beautiful prayers throughout the day and had a particularly poignant laying on of hands with him today with his brother Ron, wife Jane, nephew Ron, the prayer leader Brenda, Gabrielle, Christopher, and me. Lou has so enjoyed and been appreciative of the prayer meetings we've had every Saturday with the Healing Hands group from our church for the last 16 months and he also has really enjoyed the Christian Reiki and Reflexology times with Brenda. Both have brought him so much peace and today's session also brought him peace!
The outpouring of notes, phone calls, and prayers is humbling! Thank all of you for caring and for the thousands of prayers sent out to Lou and to me! The Lord is good and faithful and He will be calling Lou home very soon!
Love,
Deb
The outpouring of notes, phone calls, and prayers is humbling! Thank all of you for caring and for the thousands of prayers sent out to Lou and to me! The Lord is good and faithful and He will be calling Lou home very soon!
Love,
Deb
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Update 5/4/10
Well....if Lou were older and if he weren't "healthy except for the cancer" (what a line!) - he would probably already be gone. However, because his heart and lungs were so strong and he was a strong guy - he's still hanging for now. But, he has less conscious or even waking moments with each passing hour, his bowels have shut down, his kidneys are failing, his liver is so swollen, and his abdomen is distended and so swollen with fluids - everything is failing. Most of his communication now is pretty out of his head stuff as the poisons build in his body. He is now receiving morphine and pain meds regularly to try to keep him comfortable and the latest "prediction" is that he will not make it past Thursday or Friday. With the shallow breathing and the way he looks and the way I know he would feel - I pray that the end will come VERY VERY soon for him! He said so many times that he wanted to go quickly and it has always been my prayer for him not to suffer any longer than possible! He / we have been so blessed that as this all started happening within the last couple of weeks - even though he wasn't feeling particularly well - he wasn't in pain! I know this is answer to prayer! Now, he's ready and I hope the Lord is ready to take him - would truly be a blessing for Lou! Me - I'd of course love to be able to keep him around - but.....that's not fair to Lou and somehow, the Lord will see me through this valley!
For all of you have sent literally hundreds of e-mails to us in the last couple of days - THANK YOU, thank you, thank you! How blessed I / we have felt to have such good and faithful friends lifting us up in prayer and support us throughout this ordeal. All of the e-mails / names of people have been given to Lou - he smiled and cried as they were read to him!
Will update as things change!
Blessings and Love,
Deb
For all of you have sent literally hundreds of e-mails to us in the last couple of days - THANK YOU, thank you, thank you! How blessed I / we have felt to have such good and faithful friends lifting us up in prayer and support us throughout this ordeal. All of the e-mails / names of people have been given to Lou - he smiled and cried as they were read to him!
Will update as things change!
Blessings and Love,
Deb
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Almost Over
Well....the news only continued to get more bleak after the last posting. Lou has declined even more quickly than anyone thought and he's now mostly sleeping and not responding much. The hospice nurse told us this afternoon based on her experience, she thinks he could survive 24 - 48 hours but not much longer than that. He's so very weak! They have provided 24 hour nursing services for us so that I won't be here alone with Lou during the nights in particular and so that they can help with medicine dosing, etc. Of course, I'm heartbroken to be losing him - but, I do NOT want him to suffer and had told him all along that I would not do anything to try to prolong his life with the circumstances he's facing. The notes, calls, and outpouring of love has been so very appreciated. I have read notes and passed info on to Lou all along and continue to do so even now! It has all meant so much to him!
Will update again soon!
Love,
Deb
Will update again soon!
Love,
Deb
Friday, April 30, 2010
The End is Near - The Glory is the Lord's
Lou and I did make the trip to Hawaii - but, it was not a great decision! Unfortunately, Lou had already started declining rapidly before we left and that decline continued during the trip. After being there for a couple of days, Lou became so weak that he couldn't walk or do anything for himself! I had rented an electric scooter and he was able to run it after I got him on it - but.....there was not really any independence for him during the trip at all! And, he slept much of the time - just total exhaustion for him. I tried to persuade him to cut the trip short - but...he wanted to stay - so....we did! The trip home was precarious at best - but.....wound up being relatively okay and without incident. That was Tuesday morning - April 27 - arriving in Dallas at 5 a.m. Gabrielle picked us up at the airport and we came home and went to bed for a few hours. Wednesday morning - April 28, we went to the hospital for a CT scan, blood work, and Dr. visit. Even though the scan showed that the tumors in his liver hadn't really progressed - in fact, the CEA # was improved! - his liver is losing the battle / liver failure. His skin is yellow, his eyes are turning yellow and the Dr. told us that there's nothing more to do or try - it's time. Lou asked how long - Dr. told him 1 - 2 months - but...based on how quickly things have gone in the last couple of weeks - I don't see him lasting more than another 2 or 3 weeks maximum. (Lou has mentioned several times in the last couple of weeks that he won't be here long - so, I really think he understands and "feels" the truth - but....he also still speaks at times about the future!)
The hospice group came today to begin their care for him. It's the same hospice group caring for my father. After the nurse did a few tests, etc. and reviewed the blood report from Wednesday - she motioned for me to follow her outside. She told me to try to prepare myself for the daily decline that's going to take place over the next week or so. In her experience, Lou will become unconscious within about a week, so, she said that anyone that would want to see him or speak with him or any resolutions that need to be made need to be done VERY soon! She thinks once he becomes unconscious, he will remain that way until he passes.
We're both scared and sad about the whole thing - it's really difficult to accept - was very hard to hear the Dr. say "it's over"! Our pastor came to visit yesterday and Lou we all discussed funeral preparations, etc. I'm glad at least to know his wishes - we had discussed some points, but....discussed even more yesterday. There is definitely some "peace" in knowing what he wants and what he prefers! But....it's also surreal to know that it's all probably going to take place within the next couple of weeks! I can never be ready for him to be gone - but, I do NOT want him to suffer! And, I am so very, very thankful that up to now, he really hasn't had pain! He has had plenty of days of not feeling well - but....having actual pain - only a few times and not even enough for him to even take Advil - much less a real pain reliever! I pray for that part to continue and/or that the Lord will take him before he would suffer in that way!
If any of you want to speak with Lou , please call him or come by soon! If you want to write him a note - I'm printing all notes and putting them in a binder for him to read. It means so very much to him! (me too!) Lou's number is 972/839-8271 - mine is 214/725-7171 - house is 972/732-0688.
Both of us thank you again from the bottom of our hearts for all of the prayers and support for the last 18 months or so! WHAT a journey - not one I recommend - but...one that really is life changing and a real test of discovering more about what's truly meaningful in this worldly life we've had on earth! Definitely gets your attention and clarifies what's important and what's just "noise"! Lots of noise!!! We're very thankful that the Lord gave us this time together - surely helped us refocus and get our priorities reordered - just sorry it took something quite this drastic to get us to learn this lesson! Life is short!
Thank you for all the prayers, love, and support!
Blessings to all of you and your families!
Deb
The hospice group came today to begin their care for him. It's the same hospice group caring for my father. After the nurse did a few tests, etc. and reviewed the blood report from Wednesday - she motioned for me to follow her outside. She told me to try to prepare myself for the daily decline that's going to take place over the next week or so. In her experience, Lou will become unconscious within about a week, so, she said that anyone that would want to see him or speak with him or any resolutions that need to be made need to be done VERY soon! She thinks once he becomes unconscious, he will remain that way until he passes.
We're both scared and sad about the whole thing - it's really difficult to accept - was very hard to hear the Dr. say "it's over"! Our pastor came to visit yesterday and Lou we all discussed funeral preparations, etc. I'm glad at least to know his wishes - we had discussed some points, but....discussed even more yesterday. There is definitely some "peace" in knowing what he wants and what he prefers! But....it's also surreal to know that it's all probably going to take place within the next couple of weeks! I can never be ready for him to be gone - but, I do NOT want him to suffer! And, I am so very, very thankful that up to now, he really hasn't had pain! He has had plenty of days of not feeling well - but....having actual pain - only a few times and not even enough for him to even take Advil - much less a real pain reliever! I pray for that part to continue and/or that the Lord will take him before he would suffer in that way!
If any of you want to speak with Lou , please call him or come by soon! If you want to write him a note - I'm printing all notes and putting them in a binder for him to read. It means so very much to him! (me too!) Lou's number is 972/839-8271 - mine is 214/725-7171 - house is 972/732-0688.
Both of us thank you again from the bottom of our hearts for all of the prayers and support for the last 18 months or so! WHAT a journey - not one I recommend - but...one that really is life changing and a real test of discovering more about what's truly meaningful in this worldly life we've had on earth! Definitely gets your attention and clarifies what's important and what's just "noise"! Lots of noise!!! We're very thankful that the Lord gave us this time together - surely helped us refocus and get our priorities reordered - just sorry it took something quite this drastic to get us to learn this lesson! Life is short!
Thank you for all the prayers, love, and support!
Blessings to all of you and your families!
Deb
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Sorry for LONG Delay of Update!!
Very sorry for the long time since the blog was last updated! The last few weeks have been long, mostly sad / difficult and have required me to be focused on Lou and his needs. At the end of the day - taking care of Lou and keeping up with my work - there's just not much left - especially since things overall, have not been going well! Writing about everything is good for my soul - but....at times like these, also depressing to me because putting it in black and white seems so "final"! But....do want to get everyone updated - so...here goes!
After the last chemo in the last blog - the Dr. did change Lou from the Oxaliplatin to a different chemo drug called Irinotecan. This drug hopefully is slowing down the fast progression of the liver tumors, but....I don't have the latest CEA number yet! Should have them tomorrow. Unfortunately, the CEA number since February, continued to go up and up! But....2 weeks ago - while it hadn't gone down any - it had slowed significantly! It had been going up 500 ng/mL every two weeks - but....in the next 4 weeks after that, it only went up 150 ng/mL. We're hoping the number tomorrow will show that it's either stopped going up and/or that it's gone down some! The good news is that finally 2 weeks ago - the liver function numbers had started showing signs of improvement - first time for improved numbers here since everything started going up last fall! And....those numbers continued to go down again slightly when we got some of the numbers today. So, for that, we are quite thankful! However, the Irinotecan - which seemed to not cause too much of a problem for Lou in the first and second sessions as far as side effects - has now caused him to be quite ill feeling for the last 2 sessions and it has also caused him to have fairly significant diarrhea. He becomes so tired and lethargic that all he can do is stay in bed. Unfortunately, that has resulted in him not eating - and the combination of the diarrhea and not eating = additional weight loss and dehydration! To say that Lou is thin is an understatement - unfortunately, frail and skeletal are more appropriate terms. He's finally rallying slightly in the last 2 days after strong regiments of diarrhea medicines, pedialyte, probiotics, and eating more! Since the last chemo almost 2 weeks ago - he's been in bed or in his chair all but 3 days! When we went for the Dr.'s appointment today - it was decided to NOT have the chemo treatment scheduled for tomorrow. Twofold reason - we are supposed to go to Maui again next Monday. Since Lou has been so weak and unable to even walk much of the time in the last two weeks - the Dr. thought that having another chemo tomorrow with him in such a weakened state would probably only exacerbate the problem - and Lou had already said that he'd made an "executive" decision to NOT have chemo tomorrow because he is DETERMINED to get to Hawaii on Monday! (At one point, as only Lou could say - he told me that he was going to Hawaii even if "he had to crawl there"!! So...we're going to need prayers for him to continue getting stronger before Monday! Otherwise, not sure how we're going to make it through the flight, etc. and get to Hawaii!! We'll take the transport chair with us - had to take it with us today just to get him to the Dr.'s office because he's so very weak! But....hopefully, he'll make some good progress on gaining some strength back in the next 4 days since there will be no chemo tomorrow!
Of course, I'm concerned about what it will mean for this very ugly and aggressive cancer to NOT have the chemo treatment - but....truthfully - with Lou's fragile weight at the moment and how sick he's been - if he can actually gain some strength and weight over the next two weeks before the next chemo - it may be the better thing to happen! And....with his utter determination to make this trip - I know he's going to be fighting to be better / stronger! As with everything else with this insidious disease - no way to know what's best or right or wrong! Just have to pray the right decisions are being made! Of course, I want more time - but.....obviously, that's NOT a decision I get to make! So.....prayer is everything!
I really appreciate (and Lou does too!) - the continued prayers and support! The notes, e-mails, calls, visits - help both of us and we cannot thank you enough! The whole thing feels so lonely and yet, there have been so many blessings along the way too - such a mixed bag of emotions! Hope I'll have "Aloha" news in the next blog! That will mean things have improved at least for a while! The last few weeks have been overwhelmingly depressing / difficult for both of us - although - I try to have my moments in private - definitely serves no good purpose if I can't keep a more positive attitude for Lou when he's feeling so sick! Requires a lot of patience and prayer (and prayer for patience!!)!! The Lord has been so good to us / me in these quite difficult and extraordinary times!
Thanks again for your continued prayers, love, and support!
Blessings to all!
Love,
Deb
After the last chemo in the last blog - the Dr. did change Lou from the Oxaliplatin to a different chemo drug called Irinotecan. This drug hopefully is slowing down the fast progression of the liver tumors, but....I don't have the latest CEA number yet! Should have them tomorrow. Unfortunately, the CEA number since February, continued to go up and up! But....2 weeks ago - while it hadn't gone down any - it had slowed significantly! It had been going up 500 ng/mL every two weeks - but....in the next 4 weeks after that, it only went up 150 ng/mL. We're hoping the number tomorrow will show that it's either stopped going up and/or that it's gone down some! The good news is that finally 2 weeks ago - the liver function numbers had started showing signs of improvement - first time for improved numbers here since everything started going up last fall! And....those numbers continued to go down again slightly when we got some of the numbers today. So, for that, we are quite thankful! However, the Irinotecan - which seemed to not cause too much of a problem for Lou in the first and second sessions as far as side effects - has now caused him to be quite ill feeling for the last 2 sessions and it has also caused him to have fairly significant diarrhea. He becomes so tired and lethargic that all he can do is stay in bed. Unfortunately, that has resulted in him not eating - and the combination of the diarrhea and not eating = additional weight loss and dehydration! To say that Lou is thin is an understatement - unfortunately, frail and skeletal are more appropriate terms. He's finally rallying slightly in the last 2 days after strong regiments of diarrhea medicines, pedialyte, probiotics, and eating more! Since the last chemo almost 2 weeks ago - he's been in bed or in his chair all but 3 days! When we went for the Dr.'s appointment today - it was decided to NOT have the chemo treatment scheduled for tomorrow. Twofold reason - we are supposed to go to Maui again next Monday. Since Lou has been so weak and unable to even walk much of the time in the last two weeks - the Dr. thought that having another chemo tomorrow with him in such a weakened state would probably only exacerbate the problem - and Lou had already said that he'd made an "executive" decision to NOT have chemo tomorrow because he is DETERMINED to get to Hawaii on Monday! (At one point, as only Lou could say - he told me that he was going to Hawaii even if "he had to crawl there"!! So...we're going to need prayers for him to continue getting stronger before Monday! Otherwise, not sure how we're going to make it through the flight, etc. and get to Hawaii!! We'll take the transport chair with us - had to take it with us today just to get him to the Dr.'s office because he's so very weak! But....hopefully, he'll make some good progress on gaining some strength back in the next 4 days since there will be no chemo tomorrow!
Of course, I'm concerned about what it will mean for this very ugly and aggressive cancer to NOT have the chemo treatment - but....truthfully - with Lou's fragile weight at the moment and how sick he's been - if he can actually gain some strength and weight over the next two weeks before the next chemo - it may be the better thing to happen! And....with his utter determination to make this trip - I know he's going to be fighting to be better / stronger! As with everything else with this insidious disease - no way to know what's best or right or wrong! Just have to pray the right decisions are being made! Of course, I want more time - but.....obviously, that's NOT a decision I get to make! So.....prayer is everything!
I really appreciate (and Lou does too!) - the continued prayers and support! The notes, e-mails, calls, visits - help both of us and we cannot thank you enough! The whole thing feels so lonely and yet, there have been so many blessings along the way too - such a mixed bag of emotions! Hope I'll have "Aloha" news in the next blog! That will mean things have improved at least for a while! The last few weeks have been overwhelmingly depressing / difficult for both of us - although - I try to have my moments in private - definitely serves no good purpose if I can't keep a more positive attitude for Lou when he's feeling so sick! Requires a lot of patience and prayer (and prayer for patience!!)!! The Lord has been so good to us / me in these quite difficult and extraordinary times!
Thanks again for your continued prayers, love, and support!
Blessings to all!
Love,
Deb
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